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The Family Foley (Sample)

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The Family Foley

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Blessed are women whose hearts and souls are joined together by laughter and tears for they shall be known as sisters

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Alice 1940 and 1942 Alice Margaret Foley b 1938 Alice Margaret Foley is the oldest of the four Foley girls born April 21 1938 to Thomas Patrick and Alice Evans Foley There was never a dull moment in the two flat in the Gresham neighborhood of Chicago at 8211 S Paulina The Foley family of six plus Pamper the dog lived upstairs and Alice s paternal grandfather Bill plus Aunt Margaret and Uncle Ray lived downstairs The neighborhood was working class primarily a mixture of German and Irish immigrants The block provided plenty of other kids and space to play We played in an empty lot that was the size of three city lots It was a victory garden after the war and a skating rink in the winter Every night the family gathered for dinner at 6PM in typical IrishAmerican fashion always some version of meat and potatoes on the menu with the exception of tuna casserole on Fridays With relatives living downstairs young Alice had the luxury of choosing which dinner sounded better on any given night Some nights I ate with Margaret Ray and Grandpa depending on the menu I think my mother was glad to get rid of me one less mouth to feed that night 5

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Mother Alice was loving but stern using a large wooden kitchen spoon for more than just cooking Norine felt that more than the others But behind her mother s toughness was love She was sociable but did not engage in gossip Alice s father Thomas was loving and present for his wife and kids and Alice rarely saw him angry Though outwardly calm inside was another story My parents both had ulcers from worrying probably from their kids Thomas s working life as an attorney probably added to his stress level He initially worked in the neighborhood at 92nd and Ashland then 80th and Ashland before moving downtown to 111 W Washington He shared an office with George and Jack Kelly and later Hugh McCarthy other Irish Catholic lawyers from the neighborhood He never let on but he was struggling financially He did a lot of pro bono work He gave a lot of work away He handled mostly estates wills and some personal injury cases Thomas was asked by the Archdiocese to represent one of the girls who was injured in the fire of Our Lady of the Angels But there was one type of case Thomas would not touch divorces Other work opportunities came and went Mayor Richard J Daley wanted my father to be a judge but he turned it down because it was too political there was no money in it no insurance 6 Alice and Tom Foley at the 1934 Century of Progress

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Alice Norine and Mary Ann in front of their house on Paulina 1943 The family had enough to get by but lived simply with the family of six living in a two bedroom apartment with one bathroom The breakfast room in the back of the flat doubled up as a bedroom at night It was a good thing the girls went to Catholic school and wore uniforms because there was little money or room for clothes With limited wardrobes getting dressed was an Olympic sport We had a pair of jeans a Sunday dress and a uniform That was about it The first one out of the house was the best dressed The sisters were kind to each other but personalities did clash Mary Ann and Pat were more mild mannered while Norine and Alice fought Sometimes the only place for peace and quiet was in the bathroom Norine secluded herself in the bathroom and once became stuck She locked herself in the bathroom and couldn t get out Poor Uncle Ray had to scale a ladder on the outside of the building and crawl in through the window At one point Alice and Norine shared a room but they even fought in their sleep There was discord in the downstairs apartment as well with Grandpa Bill Foley his daughter Margaret and Margaret s husband Ray McCommiskey all living under one roof 97

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There was always trouble brewing with Grandpa Foley He did not like my Uncle Ray if for no other reason than because he married his daughter Grandpa Bill had a sidekick with a similar disposition a dog named Duchess who only cared for the company of Bill and Margaret Upstairs the Foley family had a small black poodle named Pamper a sweet pup One day Pamper ran away but was replaced by a similar looking dog and even given the same name But this Pamper was much different Pamper II was mean I think the dog was brain damaged Crazy canines aside Alice had a happy childhood All four girls attended Little Flower Elementary School where tuition was covered so long as the family attended mass each week and donated to the Sunday collection The girls all walked home for lunch and ate baloney sandwiches with tomato soup while their mom listened to the Ma Perkins radio show It was a quiet and quick lunch We only had an hour and school was almost four blocks away You had to hurry and eat to get back in time Summers were spent in a home on Eagle Lake in Wisconsin Thomas and his brother Maurice Uncle Maurie to the girls built the house in the late 1940s Kids ran rampant with plenty to do from swimming to volleyball to even organized scavenger hunts 8 Margaret McCummiskey Alice s aunt with mother Alice and baby Alice 1938 Nora and Bill Foley Alice s paternal grandparents at Visitation Church early 1940s

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Bill and Nora Foley with granddaughter Alice 1939 I loved it up there being out in the country It was a nice break from city living Back home the Foley girls were all into different things and for Alice it was NOT becoming a seamstress My mom insisted I take sewing lessons I hated it I m lucky if I can sew on a button For grammar school graduation her Uncle Maurie hinted at a special gift for his niece Boy did I pray it was not a sewing machine Turns out she didn t give him enough credit It was her first set of golf clubs Alice loved spending time with her Uncle Maurie a Catholic priest who was an assistant pastor at Our Lady of Grace in the Logan Square neighborhood prior to and after WWII If you look he s in the stained glass window During the war Maurie was a chaplain for the United States Naval Construction Forces or Seabees They would go in and build the infrastructure needed during the war 9

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Post war Maurie was a pastor at St Gilbert then St Lawrence then worked as a chaplain at a few senior homes He joined the family for dinner most Sunday evenings The large group would all gather at either Thomas and Alice s house or downstairs at Margaret and Ray s house to enjoy lamb a ham or a beef roast with Jell O for dessert Uncle Maurie had a tick in his neck when he got tired If you hung out long enough you d develop the tick too Having a priest for an uncle made the holidays special the family would make sure to celebrate Christmas mass wherever Uncle Maurie was presiding Another fun Christmas memory involved Alice s Aunt Margaret a kindergarten teacher at Dawes Elementary I remember Aunt Marg would come home and share all her Christmas gifts from her kindergartners handkerchiefs powders and other makeup I have a feeling she did some presorting ahead of time before she handed it over to us Because it was a free for all once the girls got to it Speaking of free for all holiday shopping with the Foley girls was an excursion for the brave My mother loved going to Marshall Fields on State Street She loved the size and looking at all the beautiful things Problem is she would have to take us all with her She had us on harnesses 10 Tom and Alice Sr with Alice Jr and Norine in front of the Evans house in Bridgeport 1944 Norine Mary Ann Maurice Pat Alice 1961

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She also loved to return things to Marshall Fields Good thing the department store offered free home pick up at the time The Fields driver was so familiar with the Foley household that when the girls came to the door he would tell them where their mother stored the packages that needed to be returned Another Christmas tradition of years past is the Foley family fruitcake Alice s mother would make it every year getting the dried fruit from the Stop and Shop on Randolph Street Fruitcake was big in their house Following grammar school Alice took the streetcar down Ashland Avenue to the Academy of Our Lady otherwise known as Longwood Academy The nuns were stern But at least I was older and could explore the city a bit more I visited my maternal grandparents Bart and Maggie Evans in Bridgeport taking two city buses I loved my Grandma Maggie Every Easter she would buy us a new bonnet from Andy s Hat Store on Randolph During Alice s high school years she spent a lot of her time working odd jobs saving money away for college tuition Jobs included babysitting for local families filing at a loop insurance company working at the Chicago Park District and during her college years working admissions for Cook County Hospital The hospital had a smell all of its own thanks to the strong disinfectant they used My mother made me change my clothes when I came home Alice didn t mind the smell She enjoyed touring different wards and even saw babies enter the world It seems her upbringing with three younger sisters groomed young Alice for caretaking and indeed she thrived when she was in service to others In 1959 Alice s family moved from the house on Paulina to 9327 S Hamilton in the Beverly neighborhood Alice was still living at home and when not out with friends she enjoyed spending dinner with family sharing her stories of life on the job 11

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In 1960 Alice got her degree in social sciences from St Xavier University and put those caretaking skills and strong disposition to good use She worked for the Catholic Charities for the next 14 years handling intake of children into foster homes and institutions This job was not for the meek I once had to go into a housing project We took a secretary with us and I could see her eyes grow large as I was sitting there talking to a parent I was sitting on the loveseat and she could see a gun right under the pillows In 1964 Alice sold her car and took off on a six month traveling adventure with her Uncle Maurie They left San Francisco for Japan and then traveled to Taiwan Egypt and Italy but cut the trip short after only two months The airlines were striking and we didn t want to get stuck abroad By Rome we decided we had enough Back in Chicago in 1967 Alice worked as a case worker for the Lt Joseph P Kennedy Jr School for Exceptional Children In 1974 she took a job with a large energy company Commonwealth Edison and stayed there for 17 years working in public affairs then the treasury office and then finally in benefits A year after Alice started at Edison her father suffered a stroke and it became apparent that he needed a closer watch and more hands on support than her mother could provide Alice helped her parents sell the house in Beverly quickly and close her father s law office Thomas and Alice Sr moved into a more manageable first floor apartment in Oak Lawn The building was called the Kincora Thomas died in 1978 12 Ray McCummiskey and Alice 1972 Alice and Tom 1972

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Daughter Alice always the caretaker visited her mother often and noticed a decline I remember visiting one time and opening her freezer to find nothing but Walgreens ice cream Their mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer s disease and needed livein assistance In 1981 Daughter Alice moved in with her She bought her own condo a few years later on the fourth floor moving her mom in with her Though her mother s Alzheimer s was mild at the start Alice Sr soon developed irrational fears and was easily confused She wouldn t go out the door I had to take the knobs off the stove Being so close physically and emotionally was challenging Plus when you re with someone every day you don t see the decline as easily In 1986 the Foley sisters moved their mom to a wonderful assisted living home in San Pierre Indiana Alice Sr passed away in 1994 When asked about these twists and turns in her life daughter Alice remained nonchalant You just do what you have to do Alice retired from Edison in 1994 but has stayed busy traveling playing pinochle and bridge She volunteers at her parish St Linus and assists countless neighbors of the Kincora with shopping or other daily needs She continues to thrive when in service to others In 2016 at 78 Alice still keeps busy though admits she prefers staying closer to home She still sees her Longwood friends for lunch and plays a mean game of bridge Her Irish sense of humor serves her well I m doing fairly well for an old lady You just got to live every day You check the death notices to see if your name is in it and if not you go on After spending decades serving others Alice lives a life of no regrets I don t believe in regrets Why dwindle on something you can t change I wouldn t do anything differently 13

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Norine Beryl Foley b 1939 Norine Beryl Foley has always been a social butterfly From her time as a young girl at Little Flower then Longwood to her days working for the City Colleges or serving as the unofficial host of the Darien Rooftop Club Norine has always surrounded herself with people She did not marry or have kids of her own but she is a kid at heart and has been a fun loving aunt to seven nieces and nephews and great aunt to 12 Marriage just wasn t for me I had proposals Sure One asked me if I know how to cook I said yeah Then he asked if I wanted to and I said no Many times I went out a guy just to check out a new hotspot or restaurant Norine s zest for life could be seen from the very start often getting her into trouble as a child with her mom and her trusted wooden spoon I remember my parents had people over and I crawled under the table and tied their shoelaces together The spoon broke over that one I had a crazy imagination If I came across a barrier on my bike I just decided to go over it I broke my two front teeth that way Young Norine was full of energy and also love for her three sisters Alice Mary Ann and Pat They have all been close but as kids Norine and her older sister Alice butted heads mainly over clothes 14 Norine with Grandpa Bill Foley 1941 Norine s First Communion 1946

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Alice and Tom Foley s wedding day 1936 Norine and Mary Ann 1943 I think I drove her crazy taking her things I d sneak out of the house with a raincoat on all buttoned up trying to hide one of Alice s new cashmere sweaters underneath Just as I was shutting the door I d hear her cry out You get back here Norine Their mother Alice Evans Foley was a disciplinarian but loving Their father Thomas was more gentle My mother ruled the roost with a firm hand My dad was the original Quiet Man referring to the John Wayne classic But he was a lawyer so he couldn t have been all that quiet that s just how I perceived him Both parents were afflicted with ulcers Thomas ended up in the hospital from one such bad spell and shared a room with George Kelly another lawyer They ended up as business partners Outside of work Tom Foley loved to golf at the Beverly Country Club and served as secretary for the Irish Fellowship Club of Chicago The family lived in a small two bedroom one bathroom apartment in a two flat with Grandma and Grandpa Foley Aunt Margaret and Uncle Ray living downstairs Aunt Margaret had all the good cookies But we probably drove she and Ray nuts running back and forth above them all day long 15

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The Foleys made use of every inch of space with Mary Ann and Norine sleeping in a pullout bed in the dinette where the family had most of their meals With so many girls under one roof the biggest compromise was the lack of privacy Four girls and one bathroom all trying to get ready at the same time That was problematic at times When it was too cold or wet to play outside the girls retreated to the basement of the two flat which was the laundry room but also served as a playroom and party room But every time it rained we would have to screw in these huge black pipes that led to the sewer just to make sure the house wouldn t flood That was a unique game who can screw them together the fastest When not playing in the basement the girls were out and about on their block playing with neighbors There was an empty lot which they called the prairie where many of the kids gathered The boys would set fires and cook potatoes over them I never ate them I don t like potatoes on a good day let alone cooked outside over a garbage can Whenever the family could they would get out of Chicago to spend time in Eagle Lake Wisconsin There was no shortage of kids with other large families living on the same block such as the Ushers the Griffins the Fureys and the Flanaghans She and her sisters keep in touch with many of these original families to this day That youngest Flanaghan we called them Handsome Harry We couldn t wait to go to Wisconsin just to get away We had so much fun up there Ray Griffin a school principal who was great with kids was the head of one of these families and organized treasure hunts for all of the neighborhood kids He also taught many of the kids including Norine how to swim 16

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Norine Pat and Mary Ann at St Gilberts in Grayslake 1956 During the school year Norine made sure to socialize with her classmates such as Shirley Donlon Betty Kibler and Carol Dollear but sometimes it was at the expense of her education I was a terrible student It was a social occasion to me My sisters all skipped a grade because they were so bright but not me I was too busy chatting with everyone Norine graduated from Little Flower in 1953 then Chicago Academy of Our Lady also known as Longwood Academy in 1957 From there Norine followed some of her friends to Quincy College in downstate Illinois where she studied for three years but never focused on the school side of things Her sister Mary Ann was teaching at St Ethelreda s at the time and heard of an opening at a nearby school Norine jumped at the opportunity and that was the end of her college degree I had enough of school and wanted to work by that point I saw my other sisters and friends doing it going to their jobs and making money and I wanted to be right there too 17

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Norine taught second grade at Queen of Martyrs School in Evergreen Park for several years The Foley family had left the Gresham neighborhood for Beverly which was close and convenient to Norine s teaching job so she could live at home But she grew tired of teaching I was sick and tired of school I wanted out of the classroom away from little kids and into a different work environment all together Give me some adults to work with and talk to In 1966 through her father s work connections Norine got a job working for the Chicago Board of Education Next thing you know I m working as a secretary for Donald Hill the CFO I felt like Lucille Ball trying to keep up with him I was just about as successful and funny too But Norine must ve kept up because Hill asked her to follow him over to City Colleges a year later where she stayed for 34 years That was a great job and I met some amazing people through City Colleges We worked long hours but it was fun Those were the good old days s Norine left the Southside nest and headed north settling in the Lakeview neighborhood with friend Kay Dahm Not surprisingly Norine kept a busy nightlife going to the movies out for dinner or spending a late night out at a local nightclub on Rush Street with her many friends I was always doing something I loved living downtown Travel was another favorite pastime In her early 20s Norine took the money set aside for her wedding from Grandpa Foley the policeman and spent a summer in Europe with friends from Longwood instead I remember London was so cold and we were staying at a place where we had to put money in the radiators just to keep warm I decided on more beach vacations after that 18

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Norine with her Quincy friends 2014 Since that time Norine has taken many trips to Mexico with girlfriends a trip to Ireland with her niece Nora and most recently went on a tour of Spain France and Italy with her sister Pat Like a butterfly Norine has always been on the move but her address has stayed the same for decades She moved into the Darien a high rise on Lake Shore Drive in 1970 and remained there for 46 years Her Darien friends have become friends for life Bob Hansen Alice Coyle Dick Griffith Bonnie Wood Lou Radzicki Fred Schmidt and Wayne Hall Summer evenings you could be sure to spot Norine and her crew enjoying the unbelievable view on Chicago s lakefront from the roof In the fall of 2016 Norine moved to Plymouth Place a senior community in La Grange Reflecting back on her life Norine is content with how things have turned out Financially she s in a good place thanks to smart saving when she was young You should never take anything for granted I planned ahead I wasn t stingy but I planned and invested Though she wishes she had buckled down in her studies as a youth she doesn t have any regrets I m happy with how my life turned out I ve had a full life I ve been lucky to have my sisters I ve enjoyed it all 19

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Mary Ann Norine and Alice 1944 Mary Ann 1949 Mary Ann Foley Walsh b 1941 Mary Ann was the self described typical third child of the Foley family quiet studious and often left to fend for herself Her older sisters Alice and Norine three and two years older were off in their own social circles They had their groups of friends and didn t want to be bothered with a little sister I get it but I felt left out a lot A younger sister Pat came five years later but was a baby when Mary Ann was looking for a playmate Mild loneliness meant she welcomed anything that would put the spotlight on her Even broken bones had an upside to a child like Mary Ann I broke my arm when I was 4 and I thought it was so cool because I got so much attention Plus I had all my friends sign the cast I was just in heaven Despite her third child syndrome Mary Ann made close friendships in their middle class Chicago neighborhood with best friends Bonnie Sula and Linda Feeney living just across their city street 20 My mother didn t let me cross the street to see them until I was five Then I was off You wouldn t ring the doorbell You wouldn t use the telephone You would just stand in the courtyard and yell YO LINDA YO BONNIE and they would come to play Who needs an iPhone when you can yell

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The family lived on the second floor of a two flat Mary Ann s father Thomas Foley was a lawyer and loving provider for the family but left the daily childcare to his wife He was a good father but he was traditional It was up to my mother to do the hands on work to raise us kids My mother always seemed overwhelmed with four girls and all the responsibilities and work that came with us Each of the sisters brought a different personality into the mix Alice was disciplined Norine was the rascal and I was quiet Pat came along and she was the baby always the bright and loving sister They saved the best for last Alice Foley did have some help once a week hiring a woman to come help with the ironing and some occasional babysitting Beulah was a very kind sweet lady She was a big part of our family for many years and was patient and would listen to us talk Plus she made the best fried chicken Apparently this was a welcome change from the blander fare more often served for meals Everything cooked by our mother was baked boiled or broiled and never had much flavor Both my mother and father had stomach issues so they cooked everything until it was very bland so it would be easier on their stomachs No spices no deep frying anything If meals weren t a highlight the glow of a television set was Mary Ann will never forget the purchase of the family s first television set in 1950 The picture was never very good but of course it was exciting to be one of the first on the block to get a TV That was a big deal Another highlight growing up was spending time in Eagle Lake Wisconsin where they owned a small lake house 21

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My father bought the house to give my mother some sanity from being restricted in a two bedroom apartment with a big family It was a big house compared to our little apartment That little apartment was always full with extended family living downstairs and special visits from family abroad Our house was a haven for cousins from Ireland Grandpa Bill fixed up the basement with a bathroom and a bedroom made just for cousins to stay in until they got established here I thought it was fun to have lots of visitors around Living space was sufficient but tight with Alice and Pat bunking together in one room and Norine and Mary Ann sleeping in a pull out bed in the breakfast room I don t remember where my clothes were kept Norine would tell me I would snore and steal her pillow She finally pinned the pillow to her sheets so I couldn t take it but I would just unpin the pillow and take it again Their clashes didn t end there and usually was over attention Norine was mad at me because we shared a Confirmation date because they combined our two grades So then our party was together and she didn t like the idea of sharing that at all I couldn t help it Norine later denies this happened but Mary Ann sticks to her story Thankfully peacekeepers could be found downstairs Thomas s sister Margaret and husband Ray McCommiskey lived on the first floor Mary Ann has warm memories of sneaking downstairs on the weekends I used to love to go down the back steps on Saturday mornings and if Aunt Margaret s back door was open and they were having breakfast sometimes they would invite me in That was a very special invitation I always thought Aunt Margaret was so glamorous because she would dress up every day 22

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The Foley girls and their mom mid 1950s Margaret and Ray McCommiskey 1941 The neighborhood was the Little Flower parish mostly filled with working class high school educated families There were definite benefits to city life We could walk everywhere You could walk to the grocery store the candy store to the dentist The big thing would be to walk up to 79th street to see a show with popcorn of course The girls also walked the five blocks between their house and school four times a day running home for a quick lunch midday while Ma listened to her soap opera on the radio It was a pretty quick lunch because you wanted to get back as soon as you could to play in schoolyard We didn t have much time and sometimes grabbed food to go Mary Ann s grammar school years at Little Flower were happy ones though she was one of 50 or more kids to a class with one nun running the show The teaching demands took a toll on these nuns I remember one was really pretty but I don t think she stayed too long It was a not a job for the weak spirited In 8th grade Mary Ann attempted to make a new name for herself 23

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I just decided I wanted my name spelled Marianne It sounded fancier and I was trying to make a statement It didn t stick Growing up there weren t many extracurricular options for Mary Ann Catholic schools didn t have sports and I remember my mother was so mad because we couldn t join the Girl Scouts since it was held at the Lutheran church As a Catholic you didn t step foot in a different church So Mary Ann stuck to her studies skipping a grade at Little Flower which meant she was only 12 when she started high school at Longwood She took two city buses to get to the school on 95th and Racine and formed friendships there that remain intact today 24 Mary Ann s 8th grade class

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Mary Ann s class at Longwood Academy 1958 I was still in touch with Little Flower friends such as Barbara Dollear I remember we would go to Barbara s house because we could smoke Her mother and father both worked and she had a really cool basement Mary Ann s mother didn t smoke and drank very little so this behavior had to be done in confidence Besides Mary Ann s covert smoking habit she kept her head down and got through high school It wasn t really memorable I was a middle of the road student but still pretty happy socially I had lots of friends At only 16 Mary Ann graduated and was encouraged by her parents to go away to school Her father knew someone at Barat College in Lake Forest Illinois so Mary Ann left the southside for the northern suburbs It was a big culture change and she did not last there long I didn t want to go I was very lonely and so young and na ve I came home after the first year 25

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In 1957 her family moved from the two flat in Gresham to 9327 Hamilton in the Beverly neighborhood Mary Ann moved back home and attended night school at DePaul I was much happier commuting from home it gave me time to mature a bit She took a part time job in sales but it didn t end well thanks to a temperamental boss I remember coming home shocked telling my mother and father that the boss swore at me I was absolutely shocked to the core because I don t think I had heard one swear word growing up I didn t last at that job too long In 1959 Mary Ann found a teaching job and spent the next five years at St Ethelreda s in the Gresham neighborhood teaching a class of 60 kids She worked hard but saved energy for her evenings as well Those were very social years Norine and I would go out to meet boys just having fun One of these boys was Bob Walsh whom Mary Ann met in a smokefilled bar called the Beverly Lounge in 1961 It s where everyone went on Friday nights You had to pay admission and there was a band It was always fun Bob took a liking to Mary Ann immediately and the two dated casually for a while When Bob left for the service in 1962 things turned more serious Absence made their hearts grow fonder for one another It was a slow process We confirmed our love for one another writing letters every day Bob returned home and the two were engaged in 1963 One memorable trip during this time involved Mary Ann s summer home in Eagle Lake Bob and Mary Ann decided to take a trip up there with Bob s high school friend Butch Kalchbrenner and fianc Gloria 26

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Bob and Mary Ann 1964 We just went up for the day to watch the Bears game We brought steaks but didn t have any running water It was snowing outside so we did the dishes out in the snow Bob and Mary Ann were married in 1964 at Christ the King Church with a reception to follow at the Beverly Country Club complete with a live band that Bob s brother Joe helped secure It was a big wedding my father paid for the whole thing Everyone raved about the chicken Kiev I don t think any of my friends had ever had anything like that Nine months later Bob and Mary Ann were blessed with a baby boy Thomas Foley in 1965 I was completely unprepared to be a mom It was learn as you go There were no books to learn from You test and see if something works If not you try something else Mary Ann relied on the experts for advice 27

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My doctor had a set of guidelines for the new mom including what time to feed bathe and play with the baby and then what time to put the baby to bed I stuck with that formula for all four kids and they didn t like it because the suggestion for bedtime was 6 30PM Mary Ann needed that schedule Bob was busy working for Commonwealth Edison sitting through night school classes at DePaul and then spending one weekend a month with the Army reserves I did a lot of single parenting But again that was the times Most of the women I knew were in the same boat The new family lived in a one bedroom third floor walkup apartment at 10320 Walden Parkway in the Beverly neighborhood of Chicago The crib went in the dining room Trying to get Tom and his diapers and bottles down the three flights of steps and into the buggy were an adventure or a challenge depending on how you want to look at it Bob and Mary Ann bought their first house at 9818 Cook Avenue in Oak Lawn in 1966 The house was a ranch with three bedrooms one bath and big yard They quickly filled the house with more children Peter Edward in 1968 and Andrew James in 1971 28 Bob Alice Rebecca Mary Ann 1964 Mary Ann 1965

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Andy Tom Nora Pete 1979 The Lincolnshire Gang 2008 While we lived on Cook we went through the biggest snow storm and the deadliest tornado that Chicago had ever seen In 1972 the family moved to Oak Forest to 15408 Orchard Lane Their final child Nora Ann arrived in 1977 Bob was working in AV sales which meant he was delivering equipment off all over the city Early on he worked downtown and had a company car I can remember within my monthly budget I had to set aside extra money for his parking tickets He d park and haul some piece of equipment into a building and come back down to a ticket We paid our debt to the city of Chicago Bob s office was in Lincolnwood on the north side of the city and the commute there and home to the south side was getting old In 1978 the family headed north to Lincolnshire first to 34 Kent Court and then later to 54 Dukes Lane There the family met friends who would remain close for life the Mosners Laws McGaughys Thompsons Terrys Browes Wendts and Vermeils We were blessed with fun neighbors Lincolnshire was such a friendly neighborhood because so many people transferred in from other cities without family close by You bonded more quickly because we had nobody else around 29

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Summers brought epic block parties and lots of kids running rampant Bob and Mary Ann enjoyed many travels thanks to Bob s work with trips to Hawaii Mexico California and Arizona It was this last place that eventually left a lasting impression My first glance of Arizona I can t say I was terribly impressed with the desert but we kept coming back to it On a personal trip they visited the golf community of Tonto Verde outside of Scottsdale and soon bought property there right on the golf course in 1998 After Bob retired in 2002 the couple spent the bulk of Chicago winters in the Arizona sun and welcomed many visits from kids and grandkids there for years to come The years of retirement were comforting and rewarding and yet offered some challenges for Bob and our daily relationship as a result He was so used to working Bob was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2004 He was treated successfully and lived many more healthy years after that But the cancer returned and spread and Bob passed in November of 2015 Bob fought depression his whole life He worried over his illness and what would happen to me It was a rough time 30 Mary Ann and Bob in 2008

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With grandkids Ryan Jamie and Liam 2000 With granddaughter Zoe 2016 Now in 2016 Bob would be happy to know that his spouse of 51 years remains in good health and keeps busy She enjoys golfing visiting with her six grandkids or lunching with friends from her Longwood and Little Flower days Mary Ann also has many places yet to visit most recently taking a trip through Italy with her son Pete and family I have often had to reinvent myself First from a carefree young adult to a wife and mom then as an empty nester then retired person then a caretaker and now a widow Each change is hard but you get through it But though all these times she still keeps a smile on her face and holds tight to many good memories especially the days of having a young family at home That was my favorite time when the kids were small but I m trying to enjoy it all I ve learned not to wish your life away and now enjoying this new phase filled with time for me She holds no regrets in her life but has one wish I ve had a great life that I wish wouldn t end I d love to make it all last longer 31

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Pat 1947 Patricia Ellen Foley Devine b 1946 Patricia Pat Ellen Foley Devine was born August 16 1946 joining her father Thomas her mother Alice and her three older sisters Alice Norine and Mary Ann She spent her childhood in the Little Flower neighborhood at 83rd and Paulina a middle class neighborhood on the south side of Chicago The family lived in a cramped two flat with extended family living downstairs using every last of space available I remember there was a sock drawer in the kitchen Thankfully we didn t have many clothes aside from our school uniforms Alice Evans Foley known as Ma to the girls had her hands full Her life was very busy when I think of her going down to the basement to wash the clothes and all the manual labor involved It was much different from us and our modern conveniences Of her parents Alice was the louder one 32 Ma was the yeller but she was in charge at home She had to yell to get somebody to listen to her

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Pat s position as the youngest of the family had its advantages While her sisters were away at school Pat and her mom would take the city bus to visit the Evans family in Bridgeport Grandfather Bart owned an asphalt business Grandmother Maggie Dorrigan always loved to see her grandchildren I couldn t stand the smell of the neighborhood when we got close The stockyards had a hold your nose quality Despite the smell Pat loved the individual attention Other fond trips with her mom include ice skating lessons at Michael Kirby s or shopping in the bargain basement of Marshall Fields for house dresses and support hose Pat s father Thomas Foley was a soft spoken lawyer with a quick smile and wit Despite work demands Thomas tried not to bring his work home with him I don t think of Dad working long hours and if people called the house for legal advice we were all taught to say he wasn t home I remember being embarrassed by it but Dad always said They know I have an office Pat was a nervous child with a stomach to match hospitalized for ulcers at the age of six Pat s baptism 1946 On Easter Sunday 1953 33

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They had to come and carry me out of church at a school mass one day I couldn t walk I was in so much pain She spent the next several weeks at Little Company of Mary Hospital while doctors tried to diagnose what was wrong They thought it was rheumatic fever but they diagnosed it as an ulcer Ma and Dad both had them Meals in the Foley household were bland to accommodate all these delicate stomachs I had a diet to follow but it was still kid friendly I remember eating a lot of cream cheese and jelly sandwiches Behind s Pat s excessive worry gene was a caring heart I can remember looking out the window on to 82nd for my dad to come home and if it was inclement weather or icy I d be worried about him getting home I was a worrywart Pat s paternal grandparents and an aunt and uncle lived downstairs Pat remembers Grandpa Bill Foley babysitting her as a small child He was a retired Chicago cop with many friends in the fire department I would play school in the backyard and Grandpa would watch over I d walk with him over to the firehouse on Ashland to visit the other Irish guys he knew over there They had some colorful language 34 Pat s First Communion 1953 Pat 1956

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Having family living downstairs also made it easy to gather for holidays and other celebrations When Pat thinks of Christmas she thinks of the family china and silver I think of Ma or Aunt Margaret laying out the table for the holidays It was a great honor to be able to put out the glass for the fruit cocktail with sherbet on top I thought it was so beautiful Pat s godparents Pat Fitzgerald and his sister Mary her dad s cousins would join them as well as Pat s Uncle Maurie a priest who was in charge of blessing the meal Uncle Maurie sometimes brought a guest from the rectory such as Fr Vivian from India or his housekeeper May Morgan who became like part of the family Pat enjoyed her urban childhood with Susie Cummings and Barb Giglio at O Halloran Park on 83rd Street which was flooded in the winter for ice skating She also remembers playing on an empty lot they called the prairie or playing games of Red Rover in the city street pausing to let the occasional car pass by Weekends were spent at the library at 79th and Halsted where Pat devoured books and nurtured a love for the language that would stay with her the rest of her life Lunches were spent at White Castle or the Woolworth s counter for fries and a Coke We did a lot of eating on Saturdays Good thing we stayed active We also loved to shop I remember buying Tangee lipstick and having to hide it from my mother It supposedly turned different colors on different people Besides covert makeup Pat didn t get into much trouble as a child except for that one time One day a few schoolmates and I somehow locked the janitor in the boiler room and my parents found out about it Ma said A little birdie told me I m sure I was punished but I was such a worrier they really didn t need to do much I felt so bad about it I was punishing myself enough 35

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Mary Ann and Pat 1949 May Crowning at Little Flower 1959 The Foley family moved from Little Flower to Beverly when Pat was in eighth grade The Beverly neighborhood was more affluent than Little Flower with more working professionals Pat noticed the difference and struggled to relate The Beverly people I didn t get them We had parties in basements decorated with streamers The Beverly kids had their parties at the local country club It was a shock to be introduced to this whole new world Pat adjusted and tried not to get swept up in the wrong things she kept her focus on her studies After skipping a grade Pat was only 13 when she started high school following her big sisters into Longwood Academy Her best friends were Patsy Carty Mary Ellen Burns and Maureen Blough On weekends Pat enjoyed spending time with friends outside the neighborhood attending high school dances held by the Hi Club at St Sabina St Killian St John Fisher and Christ the King The Beverly kids only went to the parishes in Beverly I would meet Patsy and some of the other girls to hang out with different groups We had a good time wherever we went 36 Pat also enjoyed hanging out with her sister Mary Ann who shared her outfits and looked out for her little sister

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Mary Ann and her girlfriends would go to Melody Lane the ice cream shop on 87th and she let me come along She always made sure her friends were good to me Summers were spent in Eagle Lake Wisconsin where the family enjoyed a summer home and chance to get away from city life Pat remembers scavenger hunts and sing a longs and spending time with Bunny Usher born on Easter who lived next door Eagle Lake was such a different kind of freedom All the space we could need and time to just bum around all day Pat graduated from Longwood in 1963 and went on to St Louis University to study speech and hearing therapy It was her first time away from home but Pat quickly bonded with her roommate Joanie Bruchas and found comfort in dorm life St Louis University was a wonderful experience Joanie an I were fish out of water It was a safe place for a 16 year old to go away to college Pat graduated in 1967 and aided by her Aunt Margaret found a job at a few schools near Midway airport that were deemed safe Though grateful for the work opportunity she found herself surrounded by colleagues much older and more conservative Sack races at Eagle Lake Wisconsin mid 1950s Pat high school senior 1963 37

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I hated it I was with all these retirees who had earned their way into good schools I didn t want to be there It was the time of the Kennedys and Martin Luther King I had a different focus on social justice Pat didn t want a cushy job She wanted a challenge Her opportunity came along in 1968 when a recruiter came looking for special education specialists in the backhills of the Appalachia Mountains Pat was all in but her Catholicism would make housing a challenge It was a very Pentecostal area The school board had a hard time finding a family that would accept a Papist Catholic to live with them Pat and her sister Alice pulled up to the house in Jonesville Virginia only to find out that the family that had volunteered to take Pat in had second thoughts We got there and Mrs Humphrey said We wouldn t care to have you live with us Thankfully the school board found another family who would take Pat in the Pendletons But things got interesting when Pat s Uncle Maurie a Catholic priest from the North came to visit The Pendletons had a family meeting with Mamaw and Papaw and some uncles about this Papist preacher coming to their house It was quite a struggle for them Maurie came without his collar on thank God They probably would ve fainted if he walked in with it The visit went without incident Of course Maurie was wonderful and brought a book from Marshall Fields for their son I so admired the family it was a big leap letting a Catholic priest into their house 38 This year in Appalachia opened up Pat s worldview beyond her south side of Chicago upbringing She learned a lot about tolerance and acceptance in addition to her experience in the classroom

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It was huge I learned so much during that year It really was life changing and set me a different course Pat came back to Chicago in 1969 and worked as a speech therapist in a few elementary schools on the near west side She lived at home for a few years then moved downtown to an apartment at Sheridan and Diversey close to her sister Norine Before Pat had left for Appalachia she had met a young man named Rick Devine at one of the bars along Rush Street The two kept in touch while Pat was away and continued to date upon her return The couple married in 1972 at Christ the King Church with Uncle Maurie officiating The reception was held at a local restaurant called the Beverly Woods Guests mainly included friends and business partners of Pat s parents Her new in laws the Devines were small in number but would become very close to Pat I learned a lot about love from the Devines They were always more outwardly affectionate to one another that the Foleys Rick s sister Laurie became like a sister to me and Rick s brother John was such a good soul Pat and Rick lived on the north side of the city at Foster and Kimball while Rick finished his degree in Asian Studies at Northeastern They were blessed with a son James Patrick in March of 1975 Two months later they bought their first house at 224 Woodstock in Clarendon Hills a suburb about 20 miles west of Chicago We found a local newspaper advertising a 40 000 farmette We didn t know what it was but the price was enough to decide to see it The previous owners grew and sold produce from the large lot It was this huge deep lot and a little house but we could afford it So it was a farmette for the Southsiders Pat would live there for the next 30 years and the property still remains in the family today Her life turned upside down when her son Jim then 39

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18 months old was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis CF a progressive genetic disease that causes persistent lung infections and limits the ability to breathe over time He kept coming down with bronchitis that wasn t going away We had gone to Lake Geneva with another couple and my friend noticed Jim s lips were blue At the time Jim was diagnosed Pat was pregnant with another child Daniel Morgan was born in 1977 and her last son Brendan John completed the family in 1979 Pat was working the whole time and had neighbors to help out with childcare As a young mom I didn t know what I was doing honestly You re trying to figure out what it means to be a mom You re working and you have this house that needs stuff and finances it s a sink or swim situation Pat had the additional worry of a sick child on top of these common working parent concerns Support came in the form of friendships with other women in the same boat Pat bonded with Mary Ellen O Donnell and Margie Gavin two other mothers with children facing CF Together they formed their own little support group for one another During her 30s Mimi Nolan and her Leyden ladies also became a lifeline There were many good times during this period including a 1988 trip to Disneyworld Pat was extremely worried about money with rising 40 Kissing Dan 1981 Jimmy Brendan and Dan 1982

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The Devine family in Aunt Margaret s basement 1981 Pat and the boys in Colorado Springs 1987 medical costs and all three kids attending the local Catholic school Notre Dame She came home from the trip to discover an anonymous donor from the parish paid for her son Jim s tuition in full The group from Notre Dame were so devoted to our family when Jim was ill Bringing meals being in the waiting room with me you find incredible people when you re in need At every turn the people in Pat s life turned out to help The school kids were all praying for Jim I remember one woman offering to wash our floors The years to follow would be challenging as Jim went through two separate lung transplants in 1993 and 1994 Surreal took on new meaning as lung transplants were experimental at the time I remember going to church on Sundays myself and feeling so very alone I d look around and see everyone else there as a seemingly perfect family Jim passed away shortly after his second lung transplant at the age of 19 the same year both Margie and Mary Ellen would lose their children to the disease We call them GODs children for Gavin O Donnell and Devine This heartbreaking loss would test Pat s faith 41

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I remember not being able to go church for a while after Jim died It all seemed too unfair too wrong My life was upside down in every way It was her son Dan who urged her to reconsider Pat s friends and family refused to give up on her and her faith returned in time Life deals you curveballs and it definitely isn t fair But that s life and I had to adjust to my new reality Happiness comes down to your perspective Looking back now Pat sees that she was always surrounded by love cherished by her parents growing up and then later supported by her sisters and friends from every phase of her life I don t know what I would ve done without my sisters Their support came in such different ways Alice would show her love through food visiting us in the hospital with rib sandwiches Norine was always there bringing social banter and laughter Mary Ann brought comfort in her quiet and nonjudgmental way to ease my panic attacks Friends were also critical to get her through this time Friends like Mary Garcia Louise McNieve Joanie Bruchas Annie Smith and my buddy since first grade Susie Cummings they all stuck with me when I pulled away They pursued me when life was falling apart I backed away and they didn t let go of me I m very grateful for that They were always there In 2016 Pat turned 70 and enjoyed a surprise party with a packed room filled with family and friends The birthday milestone left her grateful and reflective Where I felt my life was out of control or very sad I found kindness lack of judgment and even silliness 42

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Nowadays Pat enjoys time with family including her son Dan his wife Kathleen and six grandchildren who live on the same lot that Pat and Rick bought in 1975 Pat s son Brendan and wife Anna live in Cincinnati and both work with students with disabilities just as Pat did for years When not reading a book to one of her grandchildren she volunteers at a local food pantry teaches English as a Second Language to seminarians at the rectory and enjoys staying active with water aerobics and chair yoga classes Pat also enjoys traveling the world most recently touring Eastern Europe along the Danube River in 2016 She is grateful for the support she has received through the years and is trying to pay it back I have blessed many times over and now I want to be available to those I love It s never a dull day with grandchildren and I wouldn t have it any other way If she could tell her younger self struggling through periods of darkness it would be this Take a deep breath Go for a walk Look at the glory of creation and trust in God Brendan Pat and Dan in 2016 Grandkids Foley Seamus Danney Quinn Ronan and Delaney 43

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Pat 1959 Two Alices 1938 Alice 1941 Pat Alice Norine Mary Ann 1950 44 Pat and Mary Ann 1947 Fun in Eagle Lake Wisconsin

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Norine with mom and niece 1982 Norine with her dad 1972 Celebrating Jim s first birthday 1976 Norine 1964 Mary Ann with Tom 1965 Pat with Brendan Dan and Jim 1984 Norine Alice Mary Ann and Pat 2014 45

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